Gone so Long

Hey there all.
Well, to catch you up:
Reading week was Feb 20-24, but of course came nicely book-ended by two weekends, just like any other week, resulting in a nice 10 consequetive days free of classes. My plan was to not get out of bed for the first three days (save for work), and then to crack down on the term papers and other large assignments which constitute the last- and I think I could get some support in saying- the most daunting task of the semester before finals. Tests have never really been difficult for me- sure, I get all nervous and lose sleep, but it is a short and defined term of self punishment. Assignments, on the other hand, can and do plague me with weeks upon weeks of shoulder tensing, brain numbing, palm sweating, nervous lip/fingernail/finger (sometimes even hand or arm) biting, nauseating, completely paralyzing madness. This condition builds and worsens as due dates approach, rendering me entirely unable to even begin the work. The work is too big! I don't know where to start! I could never produce something worthy! I get so sick of thinking about the stupid assignments that I begin to LOATHE them. I look at my books and I really hate them. I daydream of them spontaneously combusting under my loathful gaze. Like a fever, this fearful antipathy worsens exponentially day to day- until it breaks. When it breaks, suddenly it is clear that it is better to hand in something than nothing. Anything, Ashley- you just have to hand something in. I begin. My faculties return, and I research, plot, write, and edit in a whirlwind of last minute genius. Like a precious diamond formed from rugged coal, the mess of information, ideas, and idea fragments that went into this human pressure cooker emerge a unified statement.
Right. In other words, it took me two thirds of reading week to half-unwind from the neurotic mess I had let myself become, which was followed immediately by the onset of an even more ferocious bout- under which I still struggle helplessly.
But don't feel too bad for me. My distractions were all very lovely: first I watched cheap-meaningless television (my roomate owns the complete set of Friends episodes on DVD), followed by a couple somewhat better movies, all enjoyed from the comfort of my bed, all in pajamas, some with the company of my former roomie Dill, and various other bed-in participants, and some all alone. Then I had the pleasure of a short visit from Ryan Jeffrey and Candice Thompson- friends from Capernwray, for those who do not know them)- both of Edmonton, at present. What a treat! The day after their visit was work all day and then madly clean my entire appartment for the first and only time since we moved in- five loads of laundry, three sinks full of dishes... you get the idea. Why this frenzy of activity? Because my dear and wonderful Nathan was coming to visit me on short notice!!!!! What excitement! What anticipation! I'll be honest with you: it hasn't been all smooth sailing in the recent past, and we were on fairly ambiguous terms upon his home coming. AND things had to get a good deal more difficult before they got better. But my-oh-my, if he didn't come out shining like a dashing knight in his armour. Mm-hm.
Well, this is getting a bit longer than I intended... but we're almost caught up.
I said g'bye to Nathan Saturday night (after Saturday night fellowship group thing at my friends James and Sonya's, which I will have to write a whole entry in honour of sometime, because of it's comparative greatness to everything on earth, pretty much). He actually stayed for church Sunday, but I worked at 11am, so I didn't see him again. Then that evening at work- I worked a split at the Atlas- I finally, after much deliberation and procrastination, gave my notice. I just can't work seven days a week any more. I know I won't make it through school that way. I'm kinda sad about it, because it's an awesome place to work, but I also feel like a hero for doing what I needed to do. Then it was Monday, and reading week was over. It was definitely too short. Oh well. And don't get the idea that I don't enjoy my classes. I really do. It's just all too much for me right now. But best I be off, at the moment, as there is much procrastinating to do!
love to you all.