Well, there's nothing like feeling stinking low to make you remember to praise God. Ironic, isn't it? I busted out my guitar last night, lit a special candle from my mom and fumbled out some old favourites. It helped. I don't know what it is about this time... I just find myself thinking about all the things I haven't done. The lost dreams, the things that other people have had the guts to do while I have tried time and time again to take the safe route. Why didn't I dance? Why didn't I travel? Will I ever? I don't know. Why haven't I stuck it out through some education and gotten a decent job, at least? I don't know. Thanks to all of you for your lovely encouragements. If this dark view of things can remind me of what really matters: knowing God and being close with friends and family... it can't be all bad. :)
Love you all.
PS. In case you ever wonder what I'm actually UP to, today I toured a Ministry of Employment and Income Assistance, 8:30 to 4:30 (only I slept through my alarm and was a bit late, which sucks, as you can imagine how much a gov't office appreciated that). The drive back and forth was about a half hour on each side. Tonight I will probably go to church choir, even though Nathan won't be coming, as he has school until about 11pm tonight. Roomie Maria might come too, if she's off of work. I don't know. That's my day. Oh. and studying tonight for midterm tomorrow. I'm giving myself permission not to care too much. I'll just look over stuff a little. Kay. Do you love how my "PS" is the same length as the main part of my email?
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7 comments:
Hey Star! I love you so much! I've been asking myself the same questions in regards to travel, school, and taking risks with life. Hopefully we both have a chance to follow those dreams! With the pains of life we've both experienced in the past few years I believe God's healing goes deeper than we could imagine to bring us to a complete understanding of what is important in life. To Live and to love according to His precious design for us!
You will always be my star!
Lizard Breth :-)
Ashley, I contemplate the same things sometimes and find myself questioning so much. But I am often reminded that God has us right where He wants us and we start from today and He never wastes ANY yesterday, they are all used for His benefit, every small crumb is picked up and kept to make us better and bring Him glory. I also often remember that His plans are beyond what we could ever think, hope or imagine for, there are always surprises and rejoicings, we just need to look with the right eyes, the right heart and He'll show us and bring us to greater things. Keep well friend. Christina
Hi friend! I just read your last two posts and wanted to agree that your mom is pretty darn great :) Also, I wanted to remind you that you have done a lot in your short years...I mean, how many people can say they've been to Mexico to help build orphanages (or whatever it was you were doing down there) twice! (you did go twice, didn't you?)
There is really so much time for you to really figure things out and try different things. In my new school there is a student teacher and she's probably at least 20 years older than me. Just try to remember that you are still young enough to do lots of stuff in your life.
Also, I'm excited to hear how your field experience goes for your program. My prediction is that is where you will do most of your learning and know for sure whether or not this is something you want to do as a permanent career.
I love you!!!
hi again ashley star! I was just looking at your countdown ticker thing to your very special day, and it's 2 months, 2 weeks and 2 days away!!! Just in case you didn't already know ;)
My beautiful Ashley!
I love you my girl...I really truly do. I don't always have the right words to say, but I've been praying a lot for you. I know what it's like to be down on myself for things. I'm a girl who's spent her entire life trying to figure out who she is, and why she's so incredibly different from the rest of the world. But if it helps any, just think of things this way. All the precious metals of the earth start out being burried really deep in the ground, and when they are discovered they look often like the not so great things. But once someone takes the time to clean them off, they sparkle and shine like they beauty they posses. Life is much like that. Sometimes it seems like everything is going wrong, it gets frustrating and nothing makes sense. Those are the days when God is simple in the middle of "polishing" us. Making us into the precious jewels that we are meant to be, so we can sparkle and shine like He created us to. Believe me, I know all about giving up on life, and wondering what the heck God was thinking when He created me. But I'm also a girl, who once upon a time gave up who she was to try to be like the rest of the world. I've been on both sides of the fence...and I know for a fact that as hard as it is in life at times...that it's far more worth, being on God's side. And with being on God's side comes a lot of things...like the comfort of knowing that He's ALWAYS there, and that no matter how much of a 'failure' in life that we may feel like, we are PRINCESSES! So how can we be failures when we are indeed royality? And we get to be royality all because God sent His son to die for us. Amazing huh? :) If that doesn't pull you out of the dumps I dunno what will!
Anyway, I've preached on long enough. LOL I really dunno if any of that made sense, but my precious Princess Ashley, just remember there is always this crazy kid, named Kristy who happens to love you very much, if you ever need anything at all in this world. :) And an even crazier God, who loves you even more than anyone or anything can. :) You're a good kid, and you don't need to regret anything. :) Except maybe not living closer to me. LOL! j/k :)
Love you lots,
Kristy :)
i love you smash! lots and lots!
i'm praying for you and for nathan in the midst of planning, as the ebb and flow of busy school, Life, and emotions wash over you daily. may you know His peace, control and most of all Love.
love you lots and lots and lots!
Hi Ashley Starshine!
Just checking up on you...hope school and everything is going well. And in the midst of chaoticness, you will have rest and joy, and can just enjoy what's going on around you!
Love you!
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